One of the great complaints in Christian marriages (mostly by the wives) is that their husbands fail to take the spiritual leadership in the home, forcing their wives to do so lest their children end up rejecting Christ for lack of instruction. Among secular marriage, many women will complain that their husbands don't do enough around the house, but frequently, if you look a little closer, you discover that the women direct what they want the men to do, so the men just don't. On the other hand, I know some church-going men who insist their wives be silent and submissive in all things. Some of them use our subject passage as a prooftext for their preconceived ideas and prejudices. I hope to avoid that and suggest we allow this passage to enlighten our hearts and minds so that we may grow in faith.

Don't just take aim at Sarai's attitudes and actions here. In reality, Abram, Sarai and Hargar all contributed to the discord which resulted. Sarai, however, did initiate the sequence of events, so we should begin with her. Sarai, Abram’s wife, was prevented from having children. Ancient men desired an heir above all else and this was especially true of Abram, for he had been told that a great nation would originate with him (Genesis 12:2). Sarai felt personally responsible for the absence of this son. She assumed that since she had not given birth to a child, and her age seemed to prohibit it, something else must be done to enable Abram to have a child through another woman (Genesis 16:2). Abram could thus father a child, although Sarai would not be the mother.

The culture of that day provided the means to accomplish Sarai’s intentions. Ancient documents reveal that when a woman could not provide her husband with a child, she could give her female slave as a wife and claim the child of this union as her own. Regardless of how acceptable it was in Amorite culture (and Abram and Sarai were Amorites before he seperated from the tribe), the consequences of Sarai’s plan inform us that such a proposal was wrong. Sarai assumed she was responsible to produce a son for Abram, but this is not supported in Scripture (Genesis 12:1-3). Abram was commanded to do one thing—leave Ur. God, on the other hand, had promised to guide Abram, to make him a great nation, and to bless the Earth through him. Nowhere were either Abram or Sarai given the responsibility for producing the promised son. Scripture implied that God would provide a son.

Sarai failed to trust God to provide a son and then pressured Abram to take Hagar as his wife. While monogamy may not be clearly commanded in Genesis, it was presented as original and ideal (Genesis 2:18-25). The first mention of polygamy is far from complimentary (Genesis 4:19) and, further on in Genesis, more than one wife is always accompanied by conflict and competition (Genesis 29:30).

I don't think Sarai acted in faith. Her primary concern seems to be with the social stigma of her barrenness. She may well have persisted in her proposal until Abram gave in. Faith never tries to force God to act, tries o act in God’s place, or tries to accomplish what is supernatural in the power of the flesh.

While Sarai was the instigator of this fiasco, Abram was also at fault. In some ways, this sin can be traced back to Abram’s unbelief when he left Canaan and went down to Egypt (Genesis 12:10-13:4). Hagar was Egyptian (Genesis 16:1); it's probable that Hagar was a gift from Pharaoh to Abram for Sarai's dowry (Genesis 12:16). Likely, Hagar was a consequence of Abram's failure of faith in Genesis 12. While Sarai prodded him into polygamy, the proposal was only possible because of Abram's decision to sojorn in Egypt.

Sarai never mentioned God or the covenant He had made with Abram. Faith did not seem to be a factor; God’s will apparently was never sought. Abram should have stood firm, but instead he fizzled. With seemingly little or no protest, he passively followed Sarai's instructions. She wanted an heir. She planned the honeymoon. Abram did as he was told.

Hagar was not without her own share of guilt. She was not wrong in going to bed with Abram, so far as I can tell. She was a slave, subject to the will of her mistress. She had little or no voice in this decision. Yet, she quickly developed a false sense of pride and smugness toward Sarai (Genesis 16:4). Hagar forgot that God had closed Sarai’s womb. She disregarded the fact that ‘children are a gift of the Lord’ (Psalm 127:3). She basked in the affection of Abram, especially when she became pregnant with his child. She felt exalted above her mistress, while she was yet her slave. As one leg of a polygamous, and therefore, adulterous relationship, she gloried in that which was no cause for pride.

Each of the three: Sarai, Abram, and Hagar, has been caught in the web of sin. Sarai acted in presumption; Abram lapsed into passivity; Hagar was the victim of pride. In a subsequent round of sin each responds wrongly to the dilemma their sin produced.

Sarai found that her scheme had backfired. A child was born, loved by Abram (Genesis 17:18,20; 21:11), despised by Sarai (Genesis 21:10). Ishmael drove a wedge between Abram and Sarai rather than drawing them together, while the once loyal Hagar now despised her mistress.

Like far too many women (and, yes, I am a woman) and marriages, Abram had given Sarai what she had wanted, but now she insisted that he had failed her in doing so. While Sarai was angry with Abram, she must have known that it was she who had made Hagar’s bed. Sarai did not voice confession or repentence, but bitter remorse. Abram did not change his course either. He was the accomplice to sin by refusing to resist it or to rebuke Sarai. Sarai’s stinging rebuke served only to cause Abram to retreat further. He did not acknowledge his sin nor did he confront Sarai with hers. Instead he persisted in allowing Sarai to have her own way. He gave Sarai free reign in dealing with Hagar. Sarai seems to have been within the boundaries of legality while stretching the standards of morality. Hagar, tired of facing Sarai’s tyranny, fled, heading back toward the land of Egypt.

Did you notice that God is strangely absent from the first 6 verses? Sarai blamed God for preventing her from having children, but no one had consulted God or sought His will. It seems no one remembered that God had promised to provide a son to Abram through Sarai. Since man had chosen to go his own way, God seems to have stepped aside to let Abram live with the consequences of disobedience. Only Hagar spoke to God when He sought her while she was fleeing toward Egypt.

Running away does not change relationships, nor does it remove responsibility. Jonah, even in the belly of the fish, was still God’s prophet with a message for the Ninevites. Hagar continued to be Sarai’s maid, duty-bound to serve her mistress. Raising serious questions regarding Hagar’s decision, God reminded her of her duty. He commanded her to return to the one in authority over her. God told Hagar to tend to her duty, even if it was drudgery or downright unpleasant.

"I will greatly multiply your descendants," the Lord’s angel added, "so that they will be too numerous to count." Then the Lord’s angel said to her, "You are now pregnant and are about to give birth to a son. You are to name him Ishmael, for the Lord has heard your painful groans. He will be a wild donkey of a man. He will be hostile to everyone,and everyone will be hostile to him. He will live away from his brothers." Genesis 16:10-12

With the command came a promise. Overtones of the Abrahamic Covenant can hardly be missed in these words of reassurance to Hagar. Ishmael’s descendants, too, would be too numerous to count (Genesis 16:10; 13:16; 15:5). From him would come princes and rulers (17:20). That which might seem a curse was perhaps Hagar’s greatest comfort. Ishmael would live a free lifestyle, unrestricted, unfettered, and a thorn in the flesh of his brothers (16:12). To Hagar, the afflicted slave of Sarai, this might seem a source of hope and comfort. Even under the cruel hand of her mistress, one can almost hear Hagar mumbling under her breath, "Just wait, Sarai."

The name of Hagar’s child served to commemorate the compassion of God for the afflicted. Ishmael means literally, ‘God hears.’ Even when it is the chosen of God who are the source of affliction, God hears and cares for the down-trodden. This truth did much to carry Hagar through the difficult years that lay ahead.

Genesis 16 exposes a problem that frequently confronts people of faith. It's hard to wait upon the Lord. Saul showed this when he offered a sacrifice because the circumstances seemed to demand it (1Samuel 13), even though he'd been told to wait for Samual. Other times, it is wrong to wait. How do we learn the difference between the times we should work and the times we should wait? God supplied us with a number of principles in Genesis 16 to help us discern the difference between the two courses of action.

We should work when God has clearly given us the responsibility and authority to do so, but God had never placed the responsibility for producing a child on Sarai or Abram. God had promised to provide the child (Genesis 12:1-3; 17:6,16, 19). Just as God had prevented Sarai from conceiving (16:2), so He would provide an heir. We tread dangerous soil when we ‘step out in faith’ in an area where we have no promise of God’s presence or blessing, or no principle or imperative on which to base our activity. We cannot hope to succeed in any activity which God has not given us the power to produce spiritual fruit. As Paul showed (Galatians 4:21) Ishmael was a result of the work of the flesh, not the spirit. Isaac was the result of divine activity in Abram and Sarai. No work of faith is the work of the flesh. God’s work is that accomplished through His enabling Spirit (Galatians 5:16-26).

We should move ahead only when our motivation to do so is that of faith. Sarai seems to have felt compelled to act because God had prevented her from having children. Several conditions should provoke us to wait, or at least to take some precautionary measures. We should be reluctant to ‘work’ when it appears that God has been preventing what we have been seeking. That's not an easy thing to discern because sometimes God wishes to strengthen our faith by allowing us to overcome obstacles (Exodus 14:10; Nehemiah 6:1-9). At other times barriers are put up to change our direction (Acts 16:6,7). Knowing the difference between problems and prohibitions requires the wisdom which God freely gives as we ask for it in faith (James 1:5-6). We should be very cautious about undertaking a work that appeals to fleshly appetites. Stop and think of the inclination Abram could have had to follow Sarai’s instructions. Sarai was essentially encouraging Abram to go to bed with her, presumably young and attractive servant. Do you think Pharaoh would have given Abram a slave girl as part of a dowry if she were unappealing to look upon? Seemingly noble acts can have very carnal motives. We should hesitate to undertake any work when our primary reason for doing so is to relieve pressure rather than to practice some principle. It seems Abram took Hagar to appease and perhaps silence his wife. Pressure from others is usually a poor reason for taking on any task. We should never work when our methods are inappropriate to our goals and to our God. While Abram and Sarai's goal was the birth of a son, an heir, the means, though legally and culturally acceptable, would never bring glory to God because they fell short short of the divine ideal. Union with Hagar attempts to accomplish God’s work with the world’s methodology.

Abram, as a result of this failure of faith, learned the painful consequences of trying to "help" God. In a very real sense, God does not need and cannot use our help. God wants to work through us. God purposed to give Abram and Sarai a child. Their efforts at producing a child on their own resulted in the conflict between the Jews and the Arabs through the centuries.

Faith is trusting in the promises of God despite the problems, and knowing that with God all things are possible. Unbelief focuses upon the problems and supposes that if God does not act within our time frame and within our expectations, we must give Him a hand. Faith believes not only that God will give us what He has promised, but that He will provide us the means to do so, and if not, that He alone will do it.