There are many practices of the modern Christian church that adhere, with a modern twist, to the practices of the original churches, but marriage would not be one of them. In our modern society, we allow young people to select their mates with little or no input into their decision from parents or other adults and we encourage them to make their selection on criteria like physical appearance and salary. Most of us will find the selection process for a bride for Isaac to be demeaning and artificial. I know people who would say that this was a relationship doomed to failure. They would be wrong.

Abraham was 140 years old and had been a widower for three years. Not knowing that he had 35 more years, Abraham began to set his estate in order for his inevitable passing. His greatest concern was that Isaac marry a woman who would help him raise a godly seed as God had told him in Genesis 18:19. He commissioned his oldest and most trusted servant to secure a wife for Isaac. This wife could not be a Canaanite and Isaac must not return to Mesopotamia. Otherwise, the man seems to have been given full discretion in the matter. These two requirements promote separation while preventing isolation. Isaac’s presence in the land of Canaan, even when he did not possess it, evidenced his faith in God and developed dependence upon God alone. It also proclaimed to the Canaanites that Yahweh alone was God. Abraham and his offspring were missionaries in this sense. While they lived among the Canaanites, they were not to become one with them by marriage. They must remain seperate from the ungodly tribes around them. On the other hand, returning to Mesopotamia would be isolation. To live among the Canaanites but marry a God-fearer would serve to insulate Isaac from too close a relation with these pagans. Thus, a wife must be secured from among the relatives of Abraham while, at the same time, Isaac was not allowed to return there himself.

"The Lord, the God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and the land of my relatives, promised me with a solemn oath, ‘To your descendants I will give this land.’ He will send his angel before you so that you may find a wife for my son from there. But if the woman is not willing to come back with you, you will be free from this oath of mine. But you must not take my son back there!"

So the servant placed his hand under the thigh of his master Abraham and gave his solemn promise he would carry out his wishes." Genesis 24:7-8

While marriage can be seen as a practical matter, Abraham’s actions were based upon revelation. God had promised to make Abraham a great nation and bless all nations through him. Obviously, Abraham’s son must himself marry and bear children. While not a specific command, it was the will of God for Isaac to marry and remain in the land of Canaan since God had promised this land to Abraham and his offspring. Having learned from past experience (both negative and positive), Abraham trusted that God would provide divine guidance to his servant in this task.

What a wonderful example of faith in God as One Who guides His people! Abraham sent out his servant, assured that God had led by His Word. Abraham sought a wife for his son, assured that God had prepared the way and would make that way clear. Abraham also allowed for the fact that God might not provide a wife in the way he had planned to procure her and thus made allowance for divine intervention in some other way.

Imagine for a moment that you had been given the commission of Abraham’s servant. How would you possibly go about finding an acceptable wife for Isaac? What an awesome task this must have been -- somewhat akin to finding a needle in a haystack. A younger servant would probably have gone about this task in a very different manner -- advertising with a matchmaker, for example. He would have sought the most beautiful and talented girl in that area of Mesopotamia. Being older and wiser, the godly servant sought God's will and guidance through prayer.

"He prayed, "O Lord, God of my master Abraham, guide me today. Be faithful to my master Abraham. Here I am, standing by the spring, and the daughters of the people who live in the town are coming out to draw water. I will say to a young woman, ‘Please lower your jar so I may drink.’ May the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac reply, ‘Drink, and I’ll give your camels water too.’ In this way I will know that you have been faithful to my master." Genesis 24:12-14

The servant was seeking a woman of character to mother a godly line. How should he go about such a task? He sought to test her intelligence and character in order to find a woman of generousity and foresight.

Rebekah, the dauther of Bethuel (Abraham's nephew) was very much the right woman for Isaac. A beautiful woman who had maintained her sexual purity (essential to the preservation of a godly seed), she was the first and apparently only woman to appear there at that moment. Everything the servant saw suggested that this woman was a candidate for the test he had devised and it seemed as though God had dropped her in his lap. When the servant asked for a drink, Rebekah also watered the camels. While Rebekah's evident beauty may have satisfied the standards of lesser men, the serant allowed the test to run its course.

"We have plenty of straw and feed," she added, "and room for you to spend the night." The man bowed his head and worshiped the Lord, saying "Praised be the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his faithful love for my master! The Lord has led me to the house of my master’s relatives!" Genesis 24:25-27

Adorning the woman with golden gifts, the servant proceeded to determine her ancestry. When this qualification was satisfied, the servant bowed in worship, giving the glory to God for His guidance and blessing. While the servant worshipped, Rebekah ran on ahead to report what had happened to her brother Laban and to begin preparations for the guests who would be coming. It appears Laban liked bling (Genesis 24:30-31) and the servant had provided plenty. Now that he'd found the right woman to become Isaac's wife, the servant had to convince the family that Isaac was the right man for Rebekah. Rebekah would have to move away from her family, so this was a delicate task. His refusal to eat until the negotiations were taken care of indicates the urgency of his mission.

Bethuel, of course, knew or knew of his uncle Abraham, which probably set aside many objections to this marriage proposal. The servant assured them that Abraham had prospered in the years since leaving Haran, infering that Isaac's ability to provide for Rebekah was well established. The most compelling argument, however, was evidence that it was the will of God for Rebekah to become the wife of Isaac. He accomplished this by recounting all that took place from his commissioning by Abraham to the conclusion of his search at the spring.

"Then Laban and Bethuel replied, "This is the Lord’s doing. Our wishes are of no concern. Rebekah stands here before you. Take her and go so that she may become the wife of your master’s son, just as the Lord has decided." Genesis 24:48-51

Laban and Bethuel granted permission for Rebekah to marry Isaac and the dowry gifts were brought forth and presented to the members of the family (vs. 53). Again the servant acknowledged the hand of God in these affairs and worshipped Him gratefully (verse 52). With these matters disposed of, they ate and drank, and the servant and his party spent the night.

In the morning, as the servant prepared to leave, Rebekah’s mother and brother wanted to delay her departure, perhaps realizing they would never see Rebekah again. The servant, however, pressed them to let her go immediately and Rebekah was willing to go without delay, so they sent her off with a blessing.

That blessing makes me believe that Abraham's relatives in Mesopotamia must have shared some faith in the God of Abraham. The blessing they pronounced too closely parallels God’s covenant promise to Abraham to be coincidental:

"They blessed Rebekah with these words: "Our sister, may you become the mother of thousands of ten thousands! May your descendants possess the strongholds of their enemies." Genesis 24:60

We know from verse 67 that Isaac took Rebekah into Sarah's tent as his wife and loved her so much that it consoled him in his mother's death. The servant had chosen wisely and Isaac soon knew this for himself.

More than just commentary on a human marriage, this passage speaks to the role of servanthood and guidance in the Christian life. The servant could be considered a model for every Christian (Mark 10:43-44). Marked by his eager obedience and attention to instructions, the servant diligently pursued his task with a sense of urgency. His diplomacy was evidence in his dealings with Rebekah and her relatives. Abraham had obviously given him a great deal of authority in other matters and freedom of discretion in this. His trust was not misplaced.

This servant was devoted to his master, but also devoted to God. Prayer and worship marked him as being superior to his peers, for he possessed a personal trust in God, to Whom he gave all the glory.

Most of us have already found the mate for our married lives, so that this passage should be understood in the broader context of God's guidance to His children. No Old Testament passage illustrates the guiding hand of God better than this portion of Genesis.

God directs men to get under way through the Scriptures. God never directly implored Abraham to seek a wife for his son, but wisdom dictated that he do so. Revelation had promised Abraham that his offspring would become a mighty nation through his son Isaac; obviously Isaac must have children and that necessitated a wife. Since his offspring would need to be faithful to God and keep His covenant (Genesis 18:19), the wife would need to be a godly woman, not a Canaanite. Also, since God had promised "this land", Isaac must not return to Mesopotamia.

All true Christians are led by the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:14). He prepares the way for us to walk in His will and sense His leading. We must proceed in faith just as Abraham did, knowing that God does guide.

The will of God was discerned through prayer. The servant submitted a plan to God that brought the right woman to evidence through a test of character. God providentially (through circumstances) brought the right woman to the servant; by her generous act of watering the camels she evidenced that she was His choice for Isaac’s wife.

The will of God was discerned through wisdom. No doubt Abraham sent this servant because he was known for his discernment. He obediently went to the "city of Nahor" and stationed himself beside the well where all the women of the city must come daily. Humbly he prayed for guidance, but wisely he proposed a plan which would test the character of the women he would encounter. There was no spectacular revelation. That was not needed! Wisdom could discern a woman of great worth.

When considering the Biblical ideal of marriage, particularly as parents giving advice to teen and young adult offspring, most people turn to the love story of Ruth and Boaz (and there is certainly much worthy to study there), but there are some considerations of marriage that are evident here as well.

A godly mate is a wonderful thing, but should only be sought if marriage will achieve the purposes God has for our lives. Isaac needed a wife because he must become a husband and father to fulfill his part in the Abrahamic covenant. While most of us will marry, the Bible informs us that sometimes God wants some of His servants to remain single (1Corinthians 7:8-24). Marriage should only be sought for those who will achieve God's purpose by having a mate. This is not always the case and we should remember that.

I have a friend who is in a frenzy about how old her children are and they haven't yet had children. In fact, most of them haven't married yet. I want my children to wait for God's timing, so that they can have a godly mate. I would not want them to marry unbelievers in haste just to satisfy a biological time table. Isaac was 40 years old when he married, but it was well worth the wait for God's chosen woman.

Significantly, we must seek a godly mate in the right place. Abraham instructed his servant not to look among the Canaanites, but to go to his God-fearing relatives. I don't know why Christians sometimes think they will find a godly mate in a bar or an online dating service. If we wish a godly mate, we should look where godly Christians normally hang out -- church, Christian college, etc. If God does not provide one through something along those lines, He may be making something clear to the seeker -- namely, that they should not marry or that they should delay marriage to a later time. A friend of mine whose first husband abandoned her, refused to date for six years after the divorce, and then met her second husband at church on a Sunday night. A Christian man who had been married briefly in his 20s (his wife had died), he'd been out riding his motorbike when he just felt the need to go to Sunday evening church at the first church he saw, which happened to be where my friend was attending. They've been together 23 years now. God's own timing may surprise us!

Most importantly, those seeking a godly mate must seek godly qualities. Abraham's servant did not evaluate Rebekah by her physical appearance. Apparently, she was beautiful, but beauty was not fundamental -- he sought a woman who trusted in the God of Abraham and who had maintained sexual purity, but also someone with "Christian" character. Wisdom and experience had taught the servant that such qualities were the most important to a successful marriage. Just being a woman who believed in the God of Abraham was not sufficient. Both parties being Christians is essential for a good Christian marraige, but just because one is a Christian does not make them a good candidate for Christian marriage.

Recognizing that may require a willingness to listen to the counsel of older and wiser Christians. Isaac was barely consulted in the process of finding a wife for him. On his own, I doubt he would have found Rebekah. He probably would have chosen the first pretty girl or woman who professed faith in God. The servant, however, was unwiling to settle for second rate. He wanted the best possible bride for Isaac. Abraham and the servant were certainly central to the process, but Rebekah's family was also consulted and needed to be convinced of God's leading. Older, wise Christians should be heeded because their experience has taught them what the path of heartache looks like. It's always best to have a knowledgable guide.

Probably the hardest lesson to learn here (and one I, frankly, struggle with) is the recognition that a godly mate is best assessed by putting emotional feelings last. Isaac learned to love his wife in time. Love came after marriage, not before it. Romantic love was not the basis of their marriage; their marriage was the basis for romantic love.

This is why Christian young people are encouraged never to date an unbeliever. We ask our daughter never to consider dating someone without first knowing their spiritual condition because dating frequently leads to emotional involvement and physical attraction. We will do the same with our son when he is old enough for such considerations. Romantic love is a wonderful feeling, but it cannot sustain a marriage! Do not put yourself in a situation where romantic love can grow until you are certain that you want it to grow. Encourage your children to be as wise.

This is totally counter to our culture where romatic feelings are exploited by Madison Avenue and Hollywood. Love is a wonderful thing, a gift from God, but let love come last, not first, if we seek a godly mate. I believe that God will surely guide us to that mate by using Scripture, prayer, counsel, wisdom, and providential intervention. We will be able to recognize this person, convinced most of all by the fact that they have manifested a godly character.

May God help us to encourage our children and our friends to trust God and obey Him in the selection of a mate. For those of us who are married, may God enable us to be the godly mate that His Word says we should be.