Some modern commentators have taken the examples of polygamy in the Old Testament to mean that this was God's ideal marital situation or at least proof positive that God is okay with serial monogamy. I think they don't read this passage for its message, so much as for the agend they want to promote.

Polygamy in the Bible never resulted in good. Oh, good things might come from these relationships, but true good without complications never did.

Jacob had two women and a house full of children, but it came with the price of discord, jealousy and, later, outright hostility. The two sisters competed with each other in child-bearing, and sex, and eventually treated Jacob like he was a prize stud to go to the highest bidder.

"When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, he enabled her to become pregnant while Rachel remained childless. So Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, "The Lord has looked with pity on my oppressed condition. Surely my husband will love me now." Genesis 29:31-32

I think Leah must have had a rough time. She was married to a man who never wanted her and refused to give her the love she desperately wanted. God, in His mercy, gave her children as a substitute. It was Leah, not Rachel, who gave Jacob his first son, his heir. The evidence of Leah's fertility meant that Rachel at least had to wait for sex, if not for love. Sadly, fertility did not gain Leah any of Jacob's love. Please read verses 33-35 to note that she came to realize that God loved her far more than Jacob ever could and that became enough for her. At the birth of Judah, her fourth son, she essentially named him "praise the Lord."

Leah found it easy to praise God with four sons at her side. Meanwhile, Rachel fumed with jealousy.

"When Rachel saw that she could not give Jacob children, she became jealous of her sister. She said to Jacob, "Give me children or I’ll die!" Jacob became furious with Rachel and exclaimed, "Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?" Genesis 30:1-2

Both Rachel and Jacob were frustrated with the situation. I don't know that Rachel was actually threatening suicide (as some commentators contend), but that she was miserable and taking it out on Jacob. Neither responded in a godly manner. They blamed each other. Jacob was right in recognizing that God had kept Rachel from bearing children, which was something he could not change. However, his attitude needed adjustment. He blamed God rather than take responsibility on himself. Just because our argument sounds pious doesn't mean we're right spiritually.

When Rebekah had not produced an heir for Isaac, Jacob's father had prayed on Rebehak's behalf and God gave his wife children (Genesis 25:21). Jacob doesn't seem to have done that. God heard the petition of the wives, inferring that Jacob did not pray for them.

Jacob clearly loved Rachel, but she was insecure in that love because her husband was clearly spending a great deal of time with his other wife. In desperation, she offered Bilhah, her maid, to produce an heir for Jacob on Rachel's behalf.

There are clear similarities here to Sarai's proposal in Genesis 16. Rachel intended to adopt the child as her own, for example. However, Sarai offered her proposal when Abram had no children. Jacob already had sons through Leah. Sarai proposed from circumstances that seemed to demand desperate measures while Rachel's demand stemmed from pride and jealousy. She must have children of her own, even adopted ones, because she feared the loss of Jacob's affections.

Bilhah did produce two children for Rachel at a time when Leah appears to have entered menopause. Rachel acted as though she'd done a most wonderful and sacrificial service by giving her maid to Jacob. In reality, she could only see that that she was beating her sister at the breeding game. She saw herself in a great struggle with Leah rather than asking herself why God had blessed Leah's womb and not hers. Rachel was clearly not a spiritual woman in humble submission to the will of God. She was a cat in a fight with her rival.

Leah, apparently, fell into the cat fight as well. She'd given Jacob four sons; that should have been enough, but now she gave her maid Zilpah to Jacob as if to win the next round in this breeding war with her sister. In the fervent heat of the bride battles, the two women have little thought to religious devotion or marital ethics. Leah had previously recognized her children as gifts from God; now Zilpah's children became pawns in her fight with Rachel.

"At the time of the wheat harvest Reuben went out and found some mandrake plants in a field and brought them to his mother Leah. Rachel said to Leah, "Give me some of your son’s mandrakes." But Leah replied, "Wasn’t it enough that you’ve taken away my husband? Would you take away my son’s mandrakes too?" "All right," Rachel said, "he may sleep with you tonight in exchange for your son’s mandrakes." When Jacob came in from the fields that evening, Leah went out to meet him and said, "You must sleep with me because I have paid for your services with my son’s mandrakes." So he had marital relations with her that night. God paid attention to Leah; she became pregnant and gave Jacob a son for the fifth time. Then Leah said, "God has granted me a reward because I gave my servant to my husband as a wife." So she named him Issachar." Genesis 30:14-18

This passage makes me shudder. The two wives bargained over Jacob like he was a prize stud. While this resulted in the birth of a fifth son for Leah, it shows how depraved this polygamous relationship had become.

It should be noted that mandrakes are berries that were considered aphrodesiacs. The women now had resorted to lust rather than a contest of breeding. I suspect Rachel had Jacob with her almos every night, even though she seemed unable to get pregnant. Leah longed for his touch if not his affection. People think the Bible doesn't get down and dirty, but these are real people acting in very real ways. Leah was the first wife who felt that Rachel had stolen her husband. Knowing what it was that Leah wanted from the mandrakes, Rachel proposed a bargain. She would assure Leah that Jacob would sleep with her that night in exchange for the mandrakes that Rachel hoped would make her more fertile.

Poor Jacob! He comes in from the field and is essentially told that he's been sold to stud. What a miserable existence! Sadly, despite her scheming, Rachel did not become pregnant. Leah did! She later produced a sixth son and a daughter.

The incident iwth the mandrakes must have finally brought Rachel to the end of her schemes. Like Sarai before her who had abandoned hope of children of her own, Rachel received the blessing of God when she least expected it. Prayer never seened to occur to Rachel as the solution to her barrenness, but it did become her last resort. How very much like us she was!

Imagine being the first readers of this book. The Law forbade a man to marry sisters (Leviticus 18:18); this was why. The origins of 12 tribes of Israel were hardly a source of national pride. The twin miracles of the exodus and the conquest of Canaan would have made some think too highly of themselves and their nation. They might falsely conclude (as they later did) that God had blessed them because they were noble and great with wonderful roots. This story reminded them that their roots were convoluted and messy. They must not trust to their heritage (as the Jews of Jesus' day did), but in the God of their heritage (Deuteronomy 26:5).

We have a tendency to think of the Bible as "long ago, in the sweet by-and-by" and not look for application to our own time, but doesn't this series of events remind anyone else of the Jerry Springer Show? No, I'm not a fan, but I have tuned in a couple of times -- just enough exposure to be appalled. Despite the difference in culture, there are many similarities to those twisted people on Springer. Jacob lived with four battling wives simulanteously, while we live with ours consecutively. We do with divorce what Jacob did with polygamy. Reading what we've just read, do any of us think this man was any happier than the one today with four ex-wives and all sorts of child support payments?

I don't!

Sex, love, marriage and family can never be fully satisfying unless enjoyed within the confines of the will of God and the Word of God. Jacob's family life was a disaster! Jacob was outside the land of promise. He belonged to God and had been assured of His presence, protection, provision, and future promises; but he could never be happy in Haran. Love, sex, marriage, and family are all gifts from a good and loving God, but their enjoyment cannot be complete apart from fellowship with Him.

While love without sex may be frustrating, sex without love is folly. Those years with Rachel where sex was not possible or permissible were frustrating (Genesis 29:21), but sex without love with Leah was just as bad. It degenerated to mere prostitution. This occurs today as it did than. Sex without love is tragedy.

Neither sex nor children can create love. Leah learned no amount of sex could ever earn the love of her husband. Even after six boys, she was still unloved. Love cannot be manufactured through sex. Additionally, children will not save a marriage that is already in trouble. Producing children does not produce love. Children consume love; they don't create it.

When a man or a woman places sex on an extremely high level of priority they comes slaves. Jacob’s love for Rachel seems to be largely based upon her physical attractiveness, on his hormonal response to her rather than on any sort of enjoyment of her mind or personality.

Our society informs men and boys that their masculinity resides in their sexual conquests. The more they make, the more of a man they are. Jacob did rather well by these standards. He must have had sex every night and plenty of children to prove it, but look at what happened to him in the process. He was not the master of his harem. Pushed from bed to bed by his wives, he was eventually purchased for the night. He was a slave of sex and marriage, not its sovereign leader.

Marriage cannot run for long on the fuel of romantic love. Romantic love such as Jacob and Rachel experienced is not necessarily wrong, it's just insufficient to carry most peope through the humdrum and pressures of married life. That romantic dinner with candles fades away when you wake up in the middle of the night to deal with a sick child. Romance can quickly come and go.

Jacob got four wives and a household full of kids. Eventually he seems to have learned somewhat beneficial from that, but we certainly can't say that this experience was an endorsement of polygamy or serial monogamy. It was a mess of Jacob's own making, the result of his sin and disodience. We should heed the warning rather than try to use it to glamorize a lifestyle choice that the Bible always depicts as resulting in tragedy.

My husband and I were out garaging saling with a bargain-minded friend one day when we found a man's dream of a sale. Lots of really good manly stuff -- tools, toys, and a really nice truck ... all for low, low prices. Our friend loves a great bargain -- we were on this expedition mainly to have PJ entertain us with his dickering skills. These prices were so low for such great stuff, however, that PJ's Christian conscience bothered him, so he struck up a conversation with the woman running the sale on why the prices didn't match the quality. The woman explained that her husband had run off with another woman and initiated divorce proceedings. The house had been hers before the marriage (Alaska is not a community property state), so the only thing she owed him was his tools, toys and truck ... or the proceeds of their sale. He'd agreed she should sell them and send him the money, less whatever he owed on them. She was, therefore, selling them at a garage sale for fire sale prices -- just enough to cover the balances owed.

Poetic justice! I think most of us recognize a similar situation in Genesis 29. Jacob, the double-dealing con artist, got a double deal when he met his tricky uncle Laban. It was his just desserts! Most of us view Leah as some sort of old maid dud and we are amused to find Jacob is stuck for life with her, even though he did eventually get to marry the woman he loved.

I think there is truth to that interpretation, but I think we miss the true spiritual point if that is what we focus on. It's not the main theme! Remember, the whole Bible is an examination of God's gracious dealings with mankind. It's about mercy and forgiveness far more than it is about justice.

Jacob fairly danced out of Bethel with a new lease on life. Before his encounter with God there, Yahweh had been the god of his father, but after the vision of the ladder from heaven and the promise of God's presence, provision and protection, Jacob had a new sense of direction, hope and meaning to life. He was still going to Haran, but God was with him.

As he approached Haran, Jacob found a field with a well in it. This was not the same well where Abraham's servant had first encountered Jacob's mother Rebekah. That one was a spring located outside the city, close enough for women to come for the daily water. This one was in a field some distance from the city. It was covered by a large stone, indicating it was used as a stock trough. More importantly, it was restricted to use at particular times and only to authorized people. The shepherds had gathered by teh well waiting for the time when they could water their sheep. Like all travelers, Jacob engaged them in coversation.

"Jacob asked them, "My brothers, where are you from?" They replied, "We’re from Haran." So he said to them, "Do you know Laban, the grandson of Nahor?" "We know him," they said. "Is he well?" Jacob asked. They replied, "He is well. Now look, here comes his daughter Rachel with the sheep." Then Jacob said, "Since it is still the middle of the day, it is not time for the flocks to be gathered. You should water the sheep and then go and let them graze some more." "We can’t," they said, "until all the flocks are gathered and the stone is rolled off the mouth of the well. Then we water the sheep." Genesis 29:4-8

Jacob learned that he was very near Haran, that his uncle Laban was doing fine and that his daughter Rachel would be bringing the sheep soon. That struck Jacob as odd, because sheep were usually gathered at dusk, but apparently it was earlier in the day. Why were these men sitting about waiting rather than getting the watering done, so they could return their sheep to the pasture. Apparently, the well wasn't a public well to be used for their convenience. There were rules to its use. Apparently, this well could be used only once a day. It was opened by the owner and his servants and then watering commenced in an orderly fashion. This was probably to prevent pollution of the well, but it served an important spiritual point in the story.

The life-giving water was available only by folloiwng the rules of the well owner. That life-giving water and the restrictions upon it brought Jacob and Rachel together. Salvation for mankind is available only by following God's rules for attaining it, but salvation itself is often the source of many wonderful things in life that would not be available to us if we were not saved.

It seems that Jacob was immediately taken with Rachel. He presented himself with heroic and gentlemanly behavior, then he kissed her before announcing that he was a relative of her father. I think it was love at first sight for Jacob and that Rachel was swept off her feet by this romantic behavior. She ran to tell her father of this meeting.

"When Laban heard this news about Jacob, his sister’s son, he rushed out to meet him. He embraced him and kissed him and brought him to his house. Jacob told Laban how he was related to him. Then Laban said to him, "You are indeed my own flesh and blood."

So Jacob stayed with him for a month." Genesis 29:13-14

In the ancient near-East, family was important and treated as such. Laban's behavior can be seen as the normal hospitality expected when a near relative appeared at the door step. Jacob's report to Laban probably touched on the health of the family back in Canaan and that Jacob was seeking a wife. It was sufficient for Laban to determine that Jacob was who he claimed. There are some commentators who believe that the report also included Jacob's real reason for being upon the road. If so, it might explain some of Laban's later behavior without resorting to character assassination. I honestly am neutral on the subject.

Jacob remained at Laban's home for a month, bringing him into close contact with Rachel, resulting in a deepening affection. During that time, Laban learned that Jacob was a valuable worker. He would make a fine son-in-law and could stay on to work for Laban in place of the traditional dowry. A continuing relationship between Jacob and Laban was of mutual advantage to both of them. At the end of the month, Laban sought to formalize the relationship between them.

"Then Laban said to Jacob, "Should you work for me for nothing because you are my relative? Tell me what your wages should be."

(Now Laban had two daughters; the older one was named Leah, and the younger one Rachel. Leah’s eyes were tender, but Rachel had a lovely figure and beautiful appearance.)" Genesis 29:15-17

Few women have been so misunderstood as Leah, Rachel's older sister. Even her name does her a great disservice, for it means "wild cow". The KJV rendering that she had "weak eyes" suggests to us moderns that she was nearly blind and quite homely, but my Hebrew scholar friend suggests -- in keeping with the interpretation from the NET Bible -- it meant "fragile" or "delicate". The word (rak) was used to describe children and choice veal calves. In contrast with Rachel, who may have had fire or a sparkle in her eyes, Leah had gentle eyes. I think the soul behind them was a great deal more tender as well.

It is an established fact that the eyes are used in the Old and New Testament as a window into the mental qualities, such as arrogance, humility, mockery, and pity (Psalm 7:9; 16:7; 26:2; Revelation 2:23; Deuteronomy 15:9; 28:54-56). I conclude that Leah's disposition was gentle and tender while Rachel had more fiery and agressive temperment. That's taking the text a little far because Rachel was described only by her physical attractiveness (verse 17). Jacob liked those physical features. Yet Moses contrasted Rachel's physical features against Leah's spiritual features. Remember that Rebekah, Jacob's mother, had been selected her for her character by divine guidance. Her attractiveness was the cherry on the top of the far more important character. Jacob, on the other hand, selected Rachel because she was beautiful. Red warning lights should already be flashing in our minds!

"Since Jacob had fallen in love with Rachel, he said, "I’ll serve you seven years in exchange for your younger daughter Rachel." Laban replied, "I’d rather give her to you than to another man. Stay with me."

So Jacob worked for seven years to acquire Rachel. But they seemed like only a few days to him because his love for her was so great." Genesis 29:18-20

Jacob selected the girl he wanted and seems not to have noticed that Laban's answer was vague. Perhaps Jacob was so used to being the trickiest one around that he wasn't suspicious of others. I don't know certainly that Laban was already planning to deceive Jacob by switching wives, but there is room for that interpretation here. Seven years was likely a steep price, but Rachel was worth it in his mind. He was eagar to consummate the marriage.

"Finally Jacob said to Laban, "Give me my wife, for my time of service is up. I want to have marital relations with her." So Laban invited all the people of that place and prepared a feast. In the evening he brought his daughter Leah to Jacob, and Jacob had marital relations with her. (Laban gave his female servant Zilpah to his daughter Leah to be her servant.)

"In the morning Jacob discovered it was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, "What in the world have you done to me! Didn’t I work for you in exchange for Rachel? Why have you tricked me?" Genesis 29:21-25

Seven years is a long time to be in love and not join together physically. There are some who would wonder that they waited. I think they didn't have much choice. Ancient near-East society guarded them women folk carefully. I also suspect that Rachel and Leah were fairly young, probably very young teenagers, when Jacob joined the family. He might be in love with Rachel, but he was not a child molester. Jacob waited for the planned wedding day and from Moses' wording, it would seem he was pretty anxious by that time.

Moses discretely described the wedding night. Hollywood likes to elaborate on Moses' careful statement, but really, it doesn't require a lot of poetic license. Marriage was a public affair then. The wedding feast was held outside the tent of matrimonial tent. After a sufficient amount of revelry, including wine, Jacob would have entered the tent and had sex with his wife. The whole party would have seen him exit, indicating the consummation. Why didn't Jacob notice he was with the wrong woman? He was probably drunk and appears very anxious to join with his bride. I don't think he bothered to light a lamp. The same passion which had dominated his selection of his bride characterized his consummation of the marriage.

I think Jacob woke up with the equivalant of "Oh, What a Night!" ringing in his head. In the light of the day, however, he realized his mistake. He'd married Leah, not Rachel! Nobody deserved this double cross more than Jacob after what he'd done in Canaan. I think Jacob knew that!

""It is not our custom here," Laban replied,

"to give the younger daughter in marriage before the firstborn. Complete my older daughter’s bridal week. Then we will give you the younger one too, in exchange for seven more years of work."

Laban had planned this for a long time, so his response to Jacob's rebuke shouldn't really surprise us. And, I cannot help but think that Rebekah had learned how to scheme right along with her brother and she had taught the art to Jacob. This was fitting justice. Jacob knew that! He accepted Laban's answer because his own heart told him that he had received his just desserts for what he'd done in Canaan. The end result was that Laban married off both of his daughters and extracted a premium price from Jacob.

Wow, what we can learn in life from this passage!

Sin has consequences. Jacob's sin had resulted in his physical and emotional seperation from his family. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, in human relationships as well as in the law of motion. Jacob chose to get ahead in life by means of deception and learned that those who seek to deceive will be themselves deceived.

The tragedy here is that none of this was necessary. Abraham's servant had been able to acquaire Rebekah for Isaac because he had access to Abraham's vast resources. Jacob's sin had made him little more than a begger. Seperated from the wealth of his family, he had only his labor to sell. If he hadn't deceived Isaac, Jacob would not have needed to spend 14 years of his life to get what he wanted. This whole incident was the result of sin.

Jacob did eventually get, through his hard work, what he wanted. Hard work, in this instance, eventually won out over the consequence of sin, though not without difficulty. That isn't how it works for us today. We cannot work our way into God's blessings or salvation (Isaiah 64:8; Titus 3:5). The gospel tells us that we who are sinners cannot help ourselves, but we can be saved by trusting in the work of Jesus Christ on our behalf (Ephesians 2:8-10).

While we could view the events here as God's getting even with Jacob, I think they are evidence of His marvelous grace at work in Jacob's life. God wasn't punishing Jacob, so much as He was instructing him.

Jacob needed 14 years of delay in Haran. If he'd returned home immediately, I think, Esau would have killed him. Had he gotten what he wanted immediately, he would have died an early and deserved death.

Moreover, consider the incredible grace of God in the gift of Leah as Jacob's wife. We're not used to thinking that way, but consider it. Leah became the mother of Judah, who was the progenitor of Jesus. Levi, another of her sons, would provide the priestly line of Israel. Rachel died at a yong age, leaving two motherless children to raise, which Leah did. Rather than a blight on Jacob, Leah proved a blessing in many ways.

We live in a romantically-oriented day, so we find ourselves cheering for Rachel and disliking Leah. God had the opposite view and likely still does. What is romantic is not always right. Young people in the throes of romance make foolish decisions. Few things in our day are more important than beauty, which would make Rachel highly prized. There is nothing wrong with beauty; many of the women in the Bible are described as beautiful. Outward beauty is no substitute for character, however (Proverbs 31:30; 1Timothy 2:9-10; 1Peter 3:1-6). This passage, contrasted with the earlier passage concerning Isaac's marriage, indicates that we should look to character in a mate first and then consider beauty like a condiment.

This is as true for women as it is for men. Our ultimate worth comes from God, Who was not impressed with Rachel's good looks. He looked at the heart and blessed Leah. Her worth, while never fully realized by her husband, was great in God's eyes. So should it be with us.